Turtle Etiquette

With the arrival of warm weather (finally), turtles of all types are moving about, doing turtle things, blissfully unaware of humans and vehicles. What's the point of this observation? Just this, you may see a turtle moving across the road and feel inclined to lend it a hand so it avoids getting flattened. It's a noble sentiment indeed. I mean, who doesn't like a cute turtle?

One-way fixation

Years ago, an old-timer in North Carolina told my wife that it's okay to help a turtle across the road, but be sure to move it to the side it's heading towards. Seems turtles get an idea in their head like "I want to be over there," and will not be dissuaded. So, if you return a turtle to the side it's coming from, rather than heading to; it will turn on its heels and head right back the way it was going.

You can't (or shouldn't) try to help all turtles cross the road

As a kid, we frequently found box turtles around our house and would place them in a box (perhaps that's the derivation of their common name) and feed them grass, water, and chicken bones. It was fun to watch them crush up the bones.

However, when it comes to snapping turtles, they DO NOT appreciate a helping hand. In fact, they are downright ornery about it. Just the other day, I saw a prime example of this unpleasant behavior. A lady had stopped her car and was attempting to help a turtle make it to the other side. Let's critique her effort, shall we?

1. Was she moving the turtle in the direction it wanted to go? Yes, one point to the Samaritan.
2. Was her vehicle clear of traffic? No, minus one point for obstruction traffic.
3. Was it a snapping turtle? Yes, minus another point.

The snapping turtle was young, with a shell about 12-16" in length. When the lady reached down to grab the turtle, it spun on her and jumped to bite her lightning fast! We all know that turtles move slowly, so I was astonished to see just how fast this one moved. And the fact that it jumped was something I had never seen or heard of before. Maybe it thought it was Gamera.

Now to the meat of the story, stay well clear of snapping turtles. They, like all turtles, have tremendously strong jaws and sharp "beaks" and have been known to take off a finger or two. Remember my comment about our box turtles liking chicken bones? Well, the snappers see your fingers as chicken drummies and will gladly take a bite.

Another traffic and turtle story

I am going to wrap things up with another story from North Carolina. I was driving along a major connecting road (speed limit 45) in the left lane. As I capped a small rise, there was a stopped car directly in my path. The vehicle was far enough beyond the crest that I could not see it. The lady driving the vehicle was approaching a VERY large snapper with the intent of saving it from a crushing blow. I swerved and missed everything, but it could have been worse, a lot worse. I do not know if the lady succeeded or if the turtle won.

The moral of the story

If it's a cute little box turtle, by all means, help it across the road if you can do so without creating a traffic hazard. If it's a nasty old snapper, give it a pass and let it take its chances. Your fingers will thank you.